Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Today's fortune: April 27, 2011

Today's fortune: Today is a good time to take some extra relaxation.

Duuuude. I reeeeeally like this fortune.

I've been on a relaxation high all day. Not an actual, drug-induced high. But I really took this fortune to heart this morning when I opened the cookie, and I've been cool as a cucumber all day. And I really think I've stumbled on to more than just a one-day fortune here. This is a way of life, dude.

All I did to achieve my high was to tell myself to relax. It was that simple, dude.

At work, my chill-ness manifested itself in the most tubular way. All my widget customers were nice to me, because I think they picked up on my laid-back vibe. And I was still super-productive. Although my soul was relaxed, my mind was sharp, and my fingers flew across the keyboard. I also took a nice long lunch break and napped in a dark, quiet room. When I woke up, the most wonderful feeling of contentment settled over me - my eyelids are half closed and there's a silly smile on my face - and it's been with me ever since. I hope it's permanent, dude.

And dude - when I was driving home from work (I left early), Jamie called and started to vent her day's worth of frustrations. I took it all in stride, dude. This is how the conversation went down:

Jamie: "My cell phone charger is broken, and I had to go to the cell phone store to buy a new one! They made me pay thirty dollars!"

Matt "It's all right, dude. Just relax. Don't worry about it."

Jamie: "And then the guy at the cell phone store was making fun of my phone! Right in front of me! He was all like, 'We don't even make this phone any more. This phone is really old. I don't know why you still even have this.'"

Matt: "Dude, it's all good, don't let it get you down."

Jamie: "And I was hoping I could go find a cheaper charger at Wal-Mart and return this one, but the jerk at the cell phone place said they don't give refunds! AARGH!!!"

Matt: "Dude, it's no big deal. What are you gonna do?"

Jamie: (Pause) "What am I gonna do? I'm gonna smoke a big doobie like you and get all mellow."

Matt: "I did smoke a doobie, dude. But not a marijuana doobie. I smoked a relaxation doobie."

Jamie: "That is a marijuana doobie."

I'm home now and I'm all prepared, dude, for a chillaxed evening, even though chores need to be done. I should probably go mow the back yard, dude, but the fortune's telling me to go eat some leftover Easter ham (I have the munchies for some reason).

I should probably do the dishes, but the fortune's telling me to read a book and watch "Survivor," dude.

I should probably finish this post, dude, but th