Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Today's fortune: April 5, 2011

Today's fortune: Soon, you will receive pleasant news.

Not that we really need it, but the Dictionary.com definition of pleasant is "pleasing, agreeable or enjoyable."

That's important. Because the fortune doesn't say "Soon, you will receive great news," or even good news. It says, specifically, pleasant.

On the F.C. Daily Scale of Variations in Goodness (which I just made up), "best news ever" receives the highest possible ranking with a score of 10/10. "No news" gets a ranking of 0/10. Great is 7/10 and good is right in the middle at 5/10.

Pleasant is 3/10 at most.

So we're not talking about knock-your-socks-off news. We're talking about news that makes you go, "Oh, that's nice."

When I told my friend Katie about today's fortune, she said, "I just got engaged. That could be the pleasant news." For one, I don't think that counts, since I already knew she was engaged (this fortune clearly points to the future), and for two, an engagement falls in the upper ranges of the scale. Also, I'm not 100 percent sure Katie was even talking about my fortune; ever since she got engaged a few weeks ago, she's been blabbering on about nothing else.

But I did receive pleasant news today. Three pieces of news, to be specific:

1. Tomorrow, my staff manager is throwing his team a pizza party because we're all so awesome. I like pizza. I love free pizza. It was a nice pick-me-up to hear the news this morning, and it definitely qualifies as pleasant.

2. My fantasy baseball team, which is named the Cookieville Fortunes, is in first place. This despite the fact that I wasn't paying any attention to the team and I accidentally left Chase Utley, the All-Star second baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies, on my Opening Day roster even though he's on the disabled list. If all of those words were gibberish to you, I take it you're not a baseball fan.

3. Perhaps the pleasantest news of the bunch: I received more authority today from my supervisor. In the widget-making game, widgets have to be approved by your supervisor until you receive authority. I received a little bit of authority a few weeks ago, and just today I found out that my authority level had been doubled. This is pleasant because it will make my job easier, and it means Acme Co. places a little more trust in me, but it's also a bit nerve-racking. Without supervisor approval, I lose my safety net. Now, if I screw up a widget that's under my authority level, there's nobody looking at the widget to catch the error before it gets sent to the customer. But I have faith in myself. I think I can be trusted.

All in all, three pieces of pleasant news and no major setbacks at the office made for a 3/10 day.

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