Today's fortune: Your health is important. Eat your vegetables!
Oh, screw you, fortune! What are you, my mother?
Actually... maybe my mother is responsible for this. Maybe she teamed up with my wife to plant this fortune as a way to make me eat better.
Well, guess what? It worked.
Starting tomorrow and for one full week, I am going to be a vegetarian.
That's right. I'll lead a meatless life for one full week. That's going to be very difficult for me, because my relationship with meat can best be described by this speech by Burgess Meredith from "Grumpier Old Men."
But really, that relationship has changed. Because a couple years ago, Jamie became a vegetarian. Full-time, too, not just for a week. She stopped eating meat cold turkey (pun fully intended) in part because of an ethics class in college, but also because of her love for animals. The hardest part for Jamie was not actually quitting the consumption of meat; that was fairly easy, she says. The most difficult thing was facing the ignorant stigma people have about vegetarianism.
People close to Jamie - members of our families and close friends - ridiculed her for her decision. They tried to convince her that she was doing something bad. Some even quoted Bible verses, telling her that being a vegetarian was an affront to God. I'm not kidding - it was horrible.
But Jamie withstood the barrage with the class and humor I've grown to love about her.
When I told her today that I was getting my PETA on this week, she gave me her full support, and has even offered to cook me some of her favorite vegetarian dishes.
Starting tonight at midnight, I will not eat meat for one full week. But I have several hours until midnight. And the timer just went off on the oven, where I am warming up a four-meat pizza.
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