Thursday, June 16, 2011

Today's fortune: June 16, 2011

Today's fortune: Your dearest wish will come true.

This is an interesting fortune, because of the wording: "Your dearest wish," not "your wildest dream," will come true. "Dearest wish" sounds sweet and and delicate.

But that doesn't mean a dear wish can't be dangerous. There are a lot of variations of the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for." But my favorite is attributed to Anatole France, who very well could have been a writer of fortune cookies in his day:

Beware lest stern Heaven hate you enough to hear your prayers!
One of my dearest wishes has always been somewhat silly: I've always wished grass wouldn't grow in the summer. I hate mowing the lawn. It's my least favorite chore.

Yesterday, in a manner of speaking, my wish came true. And I had some seriously mixed feelings about it.

Well, no, the grass didn't stop growing. But when I came home last night, my wife gave me a surprise: she had mowed our backyard while I was at work.

I was flabbergasted, thrilled, overjoyed... and, strangely, hurt. And emasculated.

I hate cutting the grass. But I don't want my wife to have to do it.

Even as all those emotions were washing over me, I realized how unfair it was to Jamie. Out of love, she had taken away the chore she knows I hate the most. Who could ask for a better wife than that? She didn't do anything wrong. She gave me a wonderful present - a wish come true. And I'm not stretching the truth when I say the lawn looks better than it ever does when I cut it.


Beware lest stern Heaven hate you enough to hear your prayers!

I can't help my feelings. Seeing that Jamie had mowed the lawn was a blessing, but in my heart it sort of felt like a curse.

Maybe we can chalk it up to makeup poisoning.