Sunday, October 16, 2011

Today's fortune: October 16, 2011

Today's fortune: Every friend joys in your success.

Last night was Jamie's Second Annual 30th Birthday Party. About a dozen of our closest friends came by to wish my wife a happy birthday, and this fortune could have applied to each and every person at the party.

We spent the evening joying in one another's successes, and also mourning and encouraging because of failures. We shared stories of new jobs, promotions and lost jobs; budding romances and failed relationships; old friends we love and old enemies we can barely stomach (but they sure are fun to talk about). The night was a rousing success, and everybody had a lot of fun.

Part of the reason we had so much fun was because our friend Erika brought Jamie a birthday cake - in liquid form.

Yes, that's cake-flavored vodka. And it's freakin' delicious. Jamie claims she only took one shot of the vodka. I'm not so sure. However much she drank, coupled with about two bottles of wine (just for her), Jamie ended up totally and completely plastered.

Last night it finally hit me that different types of alcohol have different effects on Jamie. Rum, apparently, makes her want to laugh and fall down and roll around in the grass, until she hits a wall where she thinks she's going to die. Margaritas influence Jamie to go out in public after she's sloshed and make a scene. Beer messes with her eyesight to the point where she can't see steps and curbs in front of her.

At yesterday's party, we learned the effects of red wine. First, it makes Jamie silly. This is a picture from early in her drunken stupor.

After that, something truly bizarre happens: Jamie loses the gift of speech. For about thirty minutes last night, Jamie was smiling and laughing and reacting physically to what we were saying, but she couldn't form words with her mouth.

The final effect is the same as with all the other intoxicants: Jamie crashes to the floor - literally. At about 1 a.m. Jamie, who had taken a lengthy nap out on the patio in the middle of the party, had re-gained her vocal chords and headed inside to get a jacket. Fifteen minutes later, I went in to check on her. She had found her jacket and put it on, but then she shrugged it back off and (inexplicably) walked into our office. She closed the door behind her and proceeded to lay down on the floor.

She slept there until the party broke up, at about 3 a.m.

Jamie getting drunk was a huge success from last night, and all our friends were here to joy in it.

My wife has a solid hangover today, so we're gonna take it easy tonight, maybe curl up and watch a movie. And while the thought of alcohol currently makes Jamie ill, I may go have another shot of birthday cake.