Today's fortune: You are going to have some new clothes.
It's a good thing my wife didn't open this fortune, or we'd be BANKRUPT!
(Just kidding, honey.)
(Except no, I'm not really kidding at all.)
In the spirit of this fortune, I decided it was a good time to visit the Acme Company Store at work today to order a new piece of company-themed gear. I picked out a nice brown pullover sweater with a quarter-zip front. It should be here in a couple weeks.
And I'm not the only one in the family getting new clothes. My preggo sister-in-law Sarah's ever-expanding midsection requires frequent wardrobe adjustments. Sarah and my brother Marty are shopping for new clothes tonight, in fact.
(Quick tip: if you ever encounter a pregnant woman who is having trouble getting up from a reclined position, don't point at her and yell, "She's beached!" Bad idea.)