Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Today's fortune: November 15, 2011

Today's fortune: In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.

Since I'm old and funny-looking, that ought to make me the SMARTEST MAN ON THE PLANET.

Actually, I did something this week that may prove I'm a little too young and (eek!) even a little too beautiful to be considered wise. But this is a story about getting older (a running theme on this blog) and a story about doing something to myself to make me less good-looking. In that way, maybe I've grown into wisdom by losing my youth and my beauty.

Part of growing older is the appearance of hair in places that hair didn't used to grow. The hair is clearly migrating south from my head, and only in the past year or so I've noticed it growing rather steadily in my nose. A few months ago, to combat the problem, I purchased a handy-dandy little hair trimmer, and once every few weeks I manicure the lawn inside my schnoz.

But Jamie doesn't want me to stop there: she encourages me to trim up my Frida Kahlo-like eyebrows as well.

The trimmer resides at my desk; trimming my nose hair is one of those things I do to alleviate writer's block (it's gross, I know). So yesterday, I grabbed it and I decided to take a whack at my unibrow. But I didn't have a mirror close by, and I was too lazy to go get one, so I decided to free-hand it.

The result was I shaved off a pretty good chunk of my right eyebrow.

Now I'm hideous. But at least I'm wiser from the lesson I learned: don't shave off any facial or head hair without the assistance of a mirror.

Better yet, just let your wife do it.