Monday, June 6, 2011

Today's fortune: June 6, 2011

Today's fortune: Do not dwell on differences with a loved one - try to compromise.

I'm already a freakin' All-Star at this. If I retired tomorrow I'd be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

Don't believe me? Even Jamie says so.

"You're a great compromiser," she told me when I asked. "You're very creative about your compromises, and I appreciate that."

The truth is, Jamie and I fit together like a hand in a glove. We know each other extremely well (which sounds like a dumb thing for a married guy to say - "I know my wife very well" - but you'd be surprised how many married couples don't know each other), and after having been married for nearly eight years, I think we've both honed the ability to compromise before conflict even arises.

What do I mean by that? Whenever a situation comes up that may require compromise, I think it out in my head before I even talk about it with Jamie. I ask myself, "What is she going to want to do?" or "How will she approach this situation?"

I don't do this to avoid conflict. I do it because I want to make Jamie happy, by proposing situations I know we'll both enjoy.

Here's our single biggest source of conflict, and the single biggest thing we both have to compromise on: Jamie loves to "go out" on the weekends; that is, go to bars and restaurants late in the evening to eat, drink and be merry. I would much rather avoid the crowds, eat early and spend the rest of the evening at home. We have butted heads over this issue numerous times, and we still do.

And since most of the time we avoid crowds... I clearly need to do a better job of compromising.

Maybe I'm not a Hall of Famer after all. But I think I could get ther. I'm going to work on my ability to compromise. I may not get what I want as often, but there's no doubt I'll be happier.