Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Today's fortune: November 16, 2011

Today's fortune: You were born with a "silver spoon in your mouth."

Dad: Kelsey residence.

Hi Pop, what are you guys doing?

Dad: Just sitting here watching M*A*S*H. What are you doing?

Getting ready to write my fortune. I have a question for you. Do you think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth?

Dad. I don't know. Marilyn, do you think our youngest son was born with a silver spoon in his mouth?

Mom (in the background): What? What do you mean?

Dad: Pick up the phone, Matt has a question for us.

Mom (in the background): I can't get the damn thing to work.

Dad. Dammit, we can't get the phone to work. Here, I'll give the phone to your mother.

See ya, Pop.

Mom: Hello?

Hi Mom. Do you think I was born with a silver spoon in your mouth?

Mom: Well, no, but you did have four silver teeth in your mouth when you were pretty young.

I remember that. I forgot I had a grill.

Mom: You mean a barbecue grill?

Never mind.

Mom: They were your baby teeth. When your baby teeth fell out, the silver fell out too.

Did you save the teeth?

Mom: Shit, I have no idea. I don't remember what we did with them.

So when I was a baby did you have any silver spoons?

Mom: No, but we had stainless steel spoons, and probably some plastic spoons.

Did you have silver spoons for Marty?

Long pause.

You did, didn't you?

Mom: The only thing I remember was was a little siver cup that belonged to your brother.

Why didn't I have a little silver cup?

Mom: Hell, I don't know. Louis, why didn't Matt have a little silver cup?
Dad (in the background): Nobody liked him, I guess.

Mom: Nobody liked you, I guess.

Figures. So since I didn't have any silver spoons, what do you think today's fortune means?

Mom: I think it means you weren't born in poverty. That you were born with everything you needed. That's what I get out of it. And that's the truth.

You're right. I did have everything I needed. And more. But I didn't have a little silver cup.

Mom: Get over it, son.

Goodnight, Mom. Tell Dad I said goodbye.

Mom: Say hello to Jamie for us.


  1. I have to think about a comment to this fortune.